Half a million years ago
Somewhere in the northern tundra
Enter Longtrunk and Curvytusk, the mammoths
Longtrunk: “Ho there, Curvytusk! What up, dude? Are these times cool or what?”
Curvytusk: “Oh yes, ice ages tend to be like that.”
“Say, Curvytusk, word on the street is that there’s some new monkeys around. Apparently, they walk on just two legs, all the time, and if they see one of us, they run for a bit and then throw sticks at us.”
The sticks are primitive spears.
And we all know who the two-legged monkeys are.
“Yes, I know. I came across a bunch of them. They didn’t throw any sticks at me, though. Pity. I could have used a stick or two to clear out my earwax. But look at the pathetic little creatures. They don’t even have claws, Longtrunk! Claws! How is a creature supposed to hunt without claws? What kind of joke is mother nature playing? I don’t think they’ll ever amount to anything.”
Exit Longtrunk and Curvytusk
Around 10,000 years ago
Humans have progressed. They have started settling down and farms have appeared.
Somewhere in mammoth heaven or, as the mammoths call it, The Abode of The Great Tusker
Enter Longtrunk and Curvytusk, now mammoth angels
Longtrunk: “Hey Curvytusk, look there! That’s my descendant, Longtrunk the eight thousand two hundredth!”
Curvytusk: “And look there, beside him, Longtrunk! There’s my great-times-eight-thousand-two-hundred grandson!”
“Friends through the generations, bro!”
“Yeah, and- Wait, what’s happening!? Longtrunk, look!”
Longtrunk the eight thousand two hundredth and Curvytusk the eight thousand two hundred third are suddenly surrounded by a group of humans. They eventually manage to kill the two mammoths.
“No! Longtrunk, what just happened!? No, no, no, no! How dare they kill a mammoth! These stupid hubris-filled monkeys! The-thes-these humons!
“What’d you call them? Humans?”
“‘Humons’. Short for hubris-filled monkeys. But yes, ‘humans’ sounds much better. Those stupid humans! (The name stuck.) They’ve already killed off so many of us! I’m telling you, Longtrunk, these humans are going to be the death of us!”
Exit Longtrunk and Curvytusk
Around 4,000 years ago, the last mammoths die out.
Present day
Longtrunk and Curvytusk, the mammoth angels, are observing human activity. Miraculously, they are still not bored.
Somewhere in The Abode of The Great Tusker
Longtrunk: “Look at them, Curvytusk. What are these humans trying to do? They want to… to control nature. And look at their impact. There was once a time when we thought that they would never amount to anything. How wrong we were!”
Curvytusk: “You’re right, Longtrunk. They’ve nearly taken over the entire world due to those big, ambitious brains of theirs. Brains over brawn, I suppose.”
“That isn’t really true. I’ll bet if you were to put that human- what was his name? Newon? Nuwten? – in a cage with a hungry tiger, it would be the tiger’s brawn that would win, not the guy’s brains.”
“Huh… I never really thought about it that way, although something does feel off about the example… But anyways. I think these guys are making a big mistake with this industrialisation thing.
“Mistake? Are you kidding, Curvytusk? ACs and fridges are the best thing that ever happened to us!”
“I know they are convenient, Longtrunk, but they have no way of ensuring that the environment remains okay. If I were to attempt such a thing, I’d sit down and work out every single impact of my actions and then try to think of ways to negate their impact on nature. I would develop those ways first, hold them on standby and then develop whatever I wanted to in the first place, so that the environment isn’t harmed.”
“That… that’s deep, Curvytusk. You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought.”
“It’s not like I have much to do around here, Longtrunk. Even though they had a hand in the extinction of our species, I have grown a little fond of them. But the way that they are treating the planet… I don’t like this, Longtrunk. I fear that they are digging their own graves. The Great Tusker is merciful, but this cannot go on for long. Sooner or later, they are going to reap what they have sown.
“You’re right, Curvytusk. It’s a sobering thought, what might be in store for them. But I think they’ve still got some time. If they can learn to respect nature and take their technology a bit further in the right directions, such as these eco-friendly technologies and the concept of viable spaceflight and living on other planets, they might just survive. Nature may not have to do what Thanos tried.”
“Maybe you’re right, Longtrunk… speaking of Thanos, wanna watch ‘Avengers: Endgame’ again?”
“We’re discussing the fate of the planet here, and that’s all you can think about? Movies?”
“Hey, you’re the one who brought up Thanos.”
“Fine, whatever. But now that I think about it, they don’t need Thanos to kill half of them off… they seem to be doing a pretty good job of it themselves.”
Longtrunk and Curvytusk go away to watch Avengers: Endgame.
Exit Longtrunk and Curvytusk, the mammoth angels
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