If you are reading this, expecting another outburst over the injustice meted out to women for centuries, you may end up disappointed.
We all are familiar with the usual war of the sexes. But while parroting the monotonous script, we often fail to notice some stereotypes which are so assimilated in our society, just like salt in water. We all talk about helping our better halves and our mothers with the household chores. The marketing strategy for various products has evolved accordingly, an example being Ariel’s ‘Share the Load’ campaign. But seems like all of it has just been an eyewash. For instance, take a close look at the good ol’ Scotch Brite. We all are familiar with its logo, the ideal Indian housewife with a bindi on her forehead. But wait, it doesn’t represent our new age husbands who readily give us a hand in the kitchen! It required elaborate pointing out and massive backlash on social media for the company to consider redesigning their logo.
Another thing that irks me is the confusion between gender equality and women empowerment. What I find is, many confuse gender equality for women empowerment, or vice-versa. To be honest, even I used to at some point. But the difference is just as large as between a patloon and a palazzo.
Women empowerment deals only with putting women first. It does not talk about men. “Well fair enough, have they ever thought of us while shoving us into the kitchen?” NO, but by not talking about what men have suffered over the centuries, women are not being any different. “When did MEN suffer?” Men suffered, when they were not allowed to weep over their bruises; when they were not allowed to feel, to be human; when they were not allowed to talk about their worries to anyone; when they were not allowed to shower love and spoil the ones whom they love.
Working women are accepted, but a male homemaker is not. A working woman gets encouragement like “Oh you are so radiant. You have a bright future ahead!” But a male homemaker often faces scathing jibes from neighbourhood aunties: “Helping her with the household is just an excuse to cover up his laziness. He’s a good for nothing,” or, “All the money spent on his education has gone down the drain. I feel sorry for his parents.” We often talk about a woman’s consent in sex and fight passionately for her justice. But male rape is a taboo and we forget that even boys are not always in the mood. When a guy tells his friends “I was raped,” he gets laughed at and is poked with words like, “I wish I were at your place. What an unexpected feast you got to tuck into!” or “You should be bragging instead of sulking.”
Most of the feminists frequently bury the issue of male stereotypes to push forward their interests. The conservatives often call out this hypocrisy and they get a chance to mock at us feminists. “Are you a feminist?” YES, I AM. I am a feminist, not a feminazi. “Feminazi?” A feminazi is a hypocritical feminist. A feminazi’s voice will be the loudest when advocating for women’s rights, but will become absolutely mum when the tables are turned and they are also asked to share equal responsibilities. Many opportunistic women often use them as a tool to settle scores with an ex, a competitor at the workplace, or any man they want to push out of their way.
Women empowerment is only a part of achieving gender equality. We cannot become equal by holding back one section in a bid to push the other. Both have to be allowed to prosper, given adequate leverage to advance in areas where one lags. If we fail to do this, we will just replace patriarchy for matriarchy; misogyny for misandry. The other part of gender equality which is often neglected is MALE REASSURANCE. We need to support them emotionally, allow them to embrace their humane side. Instead of being forced to display unnecessary brute, they should not feel ashamed to accept the soft corner of their heart as a part of them. Let them cook, let them do Kathak. This won’t make them less of a man. Just like a girl can like to tinker with machine parts, so can a boy like to design dresses.
This was all I think, a piece of my mind. You may accept, you may reject. After all, we all have to agree to disagree.
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